well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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