I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
