that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
