I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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