I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
