I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
