I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
