Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i already hear my dad disowning me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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