S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
