Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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