I'm lost and stupid without you.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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