Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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