Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
