He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
