Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
