Non-Jews are for practice
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
