Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sext me about skeletons
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
