How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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