We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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