Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
