My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize