didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
