How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
