are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
