I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
