Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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