my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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