wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just want nice things and good sex
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
