arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
