so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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