There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
