I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
