To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just pynch a tree in the face
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize