I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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