yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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