Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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