You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
