dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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