I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
