apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize