he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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