Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dicks are not precious.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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