I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
