I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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