hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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