you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
