my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
