You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
