I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
