Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
