I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
