Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
