i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
