If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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