he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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