$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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