The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
