Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
