we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
