Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
