i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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