I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
