Betty ford says i'm here all night
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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