you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize