would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
