I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
