would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
