on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
